Nice nice, billiard and beer. Tomorrow bowling. ;)
Now to different things...
I love my life, I really do and I'm happy to have all this. To live in Argentina, to have an argentinean boyfriend. It's amazing and I'm very greatfull. If I had stayed in Finland my life would be the same, boring and too much in the "comfort zone". But no matter how happy I am it doesn't change the fact that sometimes life here is not easy. Imagine yourself saying goodbye to your friends, to your family, to your home. Imagine to fly to the other part of the world knowing no one from there, knowing zero spanish and knowing nothing of their culture. It's a big thing at least for a girl like me. I still can't stop thinking how proud I am of myself. If you asked me two years ago I wouldn't even know where Buenos Aires is.
Sometimes I feel very lonely. Not because I don't have people around me but because we don't share the same language. I might be in a room full of people but I sit quiet, say nothing, understand nothing. It took a long tme for me to get used to it. It used to made me feel like the smallest person in the world. Of course I study spanish all the time but there's still a lot to learn. I admit - I am lazy. But it's not like I don't make any effort. As a matter of a fact I make a lot of effort. I can go to the city and make myself understood. Perfect, but it's not enough. Nobody has the patience to have a concersation with me in spanish because it would take ages. Also you can not expect everyone to speak english with you. Not in Argentina.
It makes me sad to admit this but yes, I am shy. When I'm in a group of people I rather stay quiet and listen. That's how I've always been. It's not like I never talk, I can be very irritating when I speak and there's no end.. :D But in these kinds of situations where I'm supposed to interact in spanish I get blocked. I stay quiet and I get frustrated. I start missing my language more and more.. I think "I wish I was in Finland, there I would at least unerstand everything.."
Now I know how my ex must have felt when she moved from Sweden to Finland knowing no finnish (clearly! who would speak such a language??) and I think she must have find it so frustrating when she had no idea what was going on, what we were talking about etc.
I don't really know what to think of this. Is it a good challenge for me? Or will I always feel lonely what comes to these situations? I'm so confused. And I have no solution. I have no idea what is the answer.. And of course my boyfriend always says "start learning spanish!" Oh yeah? What do you think I've been trying to do all this time? "well study more!" Yeah, it's easy for you to say...
Luckily if I start listing all the goods and the bads: the goods win BY FAR. :)
But still it would be great to get some tips.
